We hear a wonderful speaker, see an inspiring teacher, meet a thoughtful leader, or watch someone quietly helping others, but we keep our appreciation to ourselves.
NV Paulose, Chairman, Global TV +91 98441 82044
Over the years, I have consciously developed what I sometimes call a weakness: appreciating others. I say “weakness” because appreciation does not always come naturally to us. We are often trained to compete, to prove ourselves, to speak about our achievements and to make sure that our own contribution is noticed. Appreciation asks us to do something different. It asks us to pause, look at another person and acknowledge what they bring to the world.
I have come to believe that this is not a weakness at all. It may actually be one of the most important strengths a person can develop. Whenever we meet people who have done something well, our first instinct should not be to compare ourselves with them. It should be to recognize them. Recently, I had the opportunity to appreciate Dr. Maulya for her remarkable radio voice. Some voices are ordinary. Some voices make you stop and listen. Hers has that quality. It is powerful, distinctive, and engaging. Listening to her, you immediately feel that the voice itself has possibilities. I even joked that we should turn that voice into documentaries; it could become a business!
It was a light-hearted comment, but behind it was something serious: when someone possesses a gift, recognize it. We often notice talent but fail to acknowledge it. We hear a wonderful speaker, see an inspiring teacher, meet a thoughtful leader, or watch someone quietly helping others, but we keep our appreciation to ourselves. Why? Perhaps we think appreciation will make the other person more important than us. Perhaps we are afraid that acknowledging someone else’s strength will somehow diminish our own. It doesn’t. When you appreciate another person, you do not become smaller. You create space for someone else to become bigger.
That is why I was also thinking about Dr. Hasha and what appeared to be a small gesture. At first glance, it may seem insignificant. But small gestures are not always small. Sometimes a person steps forward, recognizes another person, and then deliberately steps back. That act communicates something powerful. It says: “You matter.” It says: “Your contribution deserves to be seen.” It says: “I trust you enough to put you at the forefront.” And perhaps most importantly, it passes responsibility to the other person. This is one of the least understood aspects of leadership.
We often think leadership means standing in front. We imagine the leader as the person holding the microphone, receiving the applause, making the decisions, and getting the credit. But sometimes leadership means doing exactly the opposite. It means recognizing somebody else and allowing them to stand in front. It means knowing when to step aside. It means giving someone else the opportunity to speak, lead, decide and receive recognition. That is not a loss of power. It is a different kind of power. A leader who constantly needs to be at the centre eventually creates dependence. A leader who deliberately puts others at the centre creates capability. This lesson becomes even more important when we talk about young people. When I stand in front of youngsters, I remind myself that I receive advice from two youngsters every single day: my two daughters. They watch what I do. They observe my decisions. And, whether I like it or not, they give me advice. I cannot simply dismiss them because they are younger. In fact, they have taught me something important about the younger generation.
We have a tendency to talk about young people as though they are irresponsible, distracted or incapable of making mature decisions. But sometimes we are simply looking at them through an outdated lens. I remember when my younger daughter decided that she wanted to study in Bangalore. I resisted. I had my reasons. I knew the colleges, I knew the environment and I thought staying closer to home would be easier. But she insisted. Eventually, I took her to Bangalore. At first, I was the one looking after her. I remember taking her to the Metro and making sure she was safe. A month later, when I visited her, we went to the Metro again. This time, she was the one making sure I was safe. That small change said a lot. The child I thought I needed to protect had become someone who was capable of protecting me.
Later, I noticed another change. My daughters had never been particularly interested in waking up early. But when they started going to work, they were ready by seven in the morning. They were getting up at five-thirty or six. The responsibility had changed them. And that is why I say to the younger generation: we should not take you lightly; we should take you seriously. Appreciation begins when we stop assuming that we already know what another person is capable of. It requires us to observe. It requires us to listen. And sometimes, it requires us to step back. Whether you are a parent, teacher, manager, mentor or colleague, there will always be moments when you can choose between taking the centre stage yourself and giving someone else the opportunity to stand there.
Choose the second more often. Tell someone that they did something well. Recognize a talent. Give credit without being asked. Introduce someone to an important person. Let a younger person make the decision. Give someone the microphone. And then step back. You may be surprised by what happens next because appreciation is not merely about making somebody feel good. It is about making people visible.
And when people feel seen, they become more willing to contribute. When they are trusted, they become more responsible. When they are recognized, they often rise to the level of that recognition. Perhaps, then, appreciating others is not a weakness after all. Perhaps it is a discipline. Perhaps it is a form of leadership. And perhaps one of the greatest things we can do in our lifetime is to notice the people around us, recognize what they can offer, and give them enough space to become what they are capable of becoming. Sometimes the best way to make a difference is not to step forward. It is to help someone else step forward.
